


The Tragedies of Chemistry

by callistawolf



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sorting (Harry Potter), Angst, F/M, Fluff, Minor Character Death, One Shot Collection, Romance, Smut, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-04-26 06:26:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4993723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callistawolf/pseuds/callistawolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one-shots and Tumblr prompts to coincide with season 4 of Arrow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tumblr prompt: "desperate kiss" [Original Post](http://callistawolf.tumblr.com/post/131036675292/9-kiss)

Felicity was still trying to get her heart-rate back under control as she monitored the team making their way back to the temporary base they’d set up.  She’d nearly lost both Dig  _and_  Oliver tonight and she didn’t think she’d ever forget the sick roll her stomach made in that moment when their comms went dead, when she feared the worst for both of the most important men in her life. 

All because they were still on the outs with each other. 

It wasn’t that Oliver didn’t want to repair things with Dig, but she knew he still carried some guilt over how he handled things last spring and being the stoic man he was, he thought giving Dig some room to process it was the best move.  Meanwhile, the more time that went by the angrier Dig seemed to be.  

Felicity understood and sympathized with Dig’s position.  Oliver had kidnapped his wife, endangering his child and he’d done it knowingly.  The reason for doing it wasn’t enough of an excuse for doing it at all.  But at the same time, she couldn’t help but feel bad for Oliver.  He’d given up a life in Ivy Town that he had clearly loved, to come back here and help out their friends.  And since the two of them had been back, everyone on the team, not just Dig, had been treating Oliver roughly.  It made her protective hackles go up. 

Still, since she loved both of those men, Felicity had thought it best to let them deal with it in their own way.  Until tonight. 

Their little feud had ended up nearly getting both of them killed because they were so busy ignoring one another that they forgot they needed to protect each other.  They’d been facing Damien’s men who were all too happy to take advantage of the breach in Team Arrow’s defenses. 

Quite frankly, she was impressed they’d both made it out with nothing more than just superficial injuries.  So while she waited for them to return to her, she thought about what she needed to say to both of them.  Because, dammit, something needed to be said before this happened again.

She also needed to get this clawing, desperate feeling out of her chest.  Oliver was the love of her life, Felicity was pretty sure of that now.  And thinking he was dead, even if just for a few moments, had done a number on her nerves.  She needed to see him with her own eyes, touch him, feel his heartbeat under her hand and hear him say her name.  No one else ever said her name quite like he did.  

These thoughts were swirling around her mind as the door to the makeshift lair clanged open. Felicity was up out of her chair before the door slammed shut again.  She pushed past Thea and Laurel.  She saw Dig behind Oliver briefly before launching herself into Oliver’s arms. 

Oliver dropped his bow with a clatter and caught her easily, as though he’d been expecting her to be right there.  Her feet left the ground as he lifted her against him, his face burying in his neck as she did the same.  His breath puffed against her skin, giving her small reassurances as his arms tightened around her. 

“I was so scared,” she told him. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” 

He set her down but she wasn’t ready to let him go yet.  Luckily, as always, Oliver was on the same page and he reached for her, cupping her head in his hands as he covered her mouth with his.  The kiss was desperate and needy and completely uncaring about the rest of the team standing there, watching them.  For once, Felicity didn’t care either, she just needed to feel him, taste him… know he was there and hers and  _okay_. 

Their teeth nipped as the kiss deepened, tongues tasting and groans muffled into each other’s mouths.  Some of that frantic feeling in Felicity’s chest began to ease, soothed by the feel of this man’s mouth moving against her, his scent filling her nose and his arms, holding her tight.  

He was  _okay_. 

A couple of throat’s cleared and finally, Felicity realized through the heady haze that they weren’t exactly in private.  She pushed against Oliver at the same time he released her.  He ducked his head and Felicity blushed as she found Dig, Thea and Laurel staring at them, unimpressed.  Whatever.  She regretted nothing. 

Needing a bit of her high ground back, Felicity cleared her throat and stepped away from Oliver so that she could address him and Diggle together.  

“I’m very upset with the both of you,” she told them. 

Oliver winced a little and Dig shifted, folding his arms over his chest.  

“Felicity–” Diggle began. 

“No, you’re going to listen to me now.  I know you two have problems right now. I get that and I’m not asking you to get over it, John.  But I am asking that you leave those problems here before you go out into the field.  You both almost got  _killed_  tonight because you didn’t have each other’s backs!”

“Felicity…” Oliver tried. 

“Just… promise me that won’t happen again. I need to know you  _both_  are on the same team while you’re out there.”

Dig sighed and glanced at Oliver.  “I’m sorry, Felicity.”

“Just promise me.”

There was a moment of silence and Thea and Laurel shifted a little uncomfortably.

“I’ll always have John’s back,” Oliver said. Dig just looked at him for a moment before nodding his head a little. 

“I can put it aside while we’re out there.  I’ll have his back.”

It wasn’t what she wanted… she wanted them to be friends again.  She knew Oliver wanted that too.  But Diggle needed to deal with this.  As long as he could work as a team out in the field, that was all she could ask for right now. 

Felicity nodded briskly.  “Good.  Now both of you, get out of your uniforms while I get the first aid kid.  You both have some cuts that need looking at.”


	2. A Rare Opportunity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tumblr prompt: "slow touch" [original post](http://callistawolf.tumblr.com/post/131039231862/olicity-7-touch-can-go-nsfw-or-not-dealers)

The sun was filtering through the windows in their new bedroom in the loft, playing over the curves and planes of Oliver Queen’s impressive torso and inviting Felicity’s fingers to touch and explore.  

It was a rare opportunity to catch him asleep like this, to have freedom to peruse him at her own leisure without him growing aroused and impatient, grabbing at her, turning the tables so swiftly and devastatingly that Felicity would wonder how he managed it.  

He was a light sleeper, always had been.  The few times she’d ever caught him sleeping before they’d gotten together, he’d always jerked awake the instant she’d moved or spoken.  Since then, catching him asleep had been a lot more frequent than before.  But even with his more relaxed nature around her, he always woke the moment she touched him. 

And Oliver Queen woke up  _frisky_. 

But this morning… he was in a deep sleep and as Felicity reached out and traced a single fingertip down over the curve of his pectoral muscle, he didn’t so much as stir from his slumber.  Felicity smiled, carefully pushing up on an elbow so she could watch him as she drifted a finger over the ridges of his muscles.  It was a slow, sensual touch, lingering in all the spots she’d dreamed about touching years ago when he’d do the salmon ladder right in front of her desk. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t get to touch Oliver when he was awake, but it was never like _this_.  Where she could take her time to appreciate every inch of him.  When he was awake, he always got impatient and found some way to make her want to speed things up just as much as he did.  Usually involving his own brand of  _touch_.  

Enjoying him like this, laying before her with all this glorious  _skin_  on display, his face completely unlined by tension and responsibility… this was a gift. Felicity was enjoying her gift quite a bit.  

Her finger drifted to the dip near his hipbone, where the muscle cut in towards his groin.  This muscle fascinated her, how when paired with the matching one on his other hip, it formed an arrow, of sorts.  An arrow that pointed all the way to the goodies (which were, for now, sadly hidden away under the edge of the sheet).  

Felicity knew better than to take her touch that far; the stimulation would surely bring him awake before she was ready. Instead, she saved that exploration for a little later, when she’d had her fill, filing her plans away into the back of her mind. 

Instead, she enjoyed him for untold minutes, watching the light move across his body and her fingers along with it.  He was warm under her hand, hard and soft and, best of all, all hers.  God, he was gorgeous.  Aesthetically, to be sure, but also in his heart and in his soul.  She was so lucky to have a chance to know him. 

After a while, Felicity knew she was pressing her luck and that Oliver would wake on his own any minute.  She had her own plans for waking him up, however.  So she lifted her fingers from the enticing planes of his chest and scooted down carefully in the bed.  Keeping an eye on his face, she slowly drew back the sheet, exposing what was possibly the most glorious feature on his body.  

Grinning to herself, Felicity considered his length, which was already hardening because Oliver always woke up at least a half-hard, and debated how to do this.  In the end, she went with the bold maneuver.  

In one swift move, Felicity grasped his length in one hand and engulfed the thick head into her mouth.  She delighted as Oliver groaned, arching into her touch, waking in the most pleasant way possible. 


	3. Eight Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tumblr prompt: "desperate shag" [original post](http://callistawolf.tumblr.com/post/131054315062/9-shag-obviously)

It’d been a hell of a week, for both of them.  Felicity had found that being the CEO required a great deal of her time and attention and Oliver was still dealing with Darhk’s “Ghosts” and with the team.  The same team who had asked him back, but now side-eyed every suggestion he made. At least Diggle, Oliver could understand.  He hadn’t wanted him back. 

And, to be honest, Oliver was still smarting at leaving his perfect suburbian utopia behind.  Felicity wasn’t wrong; he did miss hero work sometimes.  Or rather, he missed the opportunity to help and make a difference.  But with that came being told constantly that he was a menace, that he ruined everything he touched, that this life would eat him alive and spit out his bones.  

Felicity seemed sure that they could balance those lives… that he could enjoy the domesticity he had found with her but also help the city.  And, Oliver had to admit, he liked that hero work was just as important to her as it was to him.  It just reaffirmed to him that he’d fallen in love with the perfect woman for him.  

So far, however, time alone just the two of them had become something of a premium.  It’d been no fewer than eight days since he’d made love to Felicity. 

EIGHT. DAYS. 

That was seven days too long to go without having her underneath him. Or on top of him. Or being between her legs.  Or her being between his. Or… 

Well.  Let’s just say that Oliver was well past waiting for some alone time with Felicity.  Tonight, he was insisting on it.  

Embracing the new  _democracy_  of the new team, Oliver didn’t insist that they take a night off, but he did put in a request.  Laurel had looked like she wanted to argue and Dig had looked judgemental but thankfully Thea had taken pity on him and told him to go home and see Felicity. 

Oliver had hurried to the loft, knowing Felicity would stop by there before coming to the Arrow bunker to help out with the team.  Sure enough, five minutes after he got there, she arrived.  

“Oliver!  What are you–?” 

That was all Felicity was able to get out before Oliver grabbed her, pulled her into his arms and kissed her.  She pulled away briefly to ask him again and he just kissed her.  He kept kissing her until she melted in his arms.  He kept kissing her as he pushed her against the windows that overlooked the city that was lighting up all around them in the gathering dusk. He kissed her until her fingers clutched at him and her knees gave out. 

That was when he lifted her up, urging her to wrap her legs around his waist.  Oliver was damned grateful she’d worn a dress that day.  He’d planned to take her up to their room and ravish here there but now, with her wiggling against him the way she was, he knew he couldn’t wait. 

“Oliver,” Felicity moaned as he sucked at that spot beneath her ear that always drove her wild. 

“I want you,” he groaned, biting gently at her sensitive flesh. She shuddered in his arms. 

“But the team…”

“We have the night off…”

“Oh, thank  _god_.” 

It turned out, Felicity was just as desperate as he was.  Several buttons on his shirt popped off as she tored it open and shoved it off.  Oliver was no more gentle as he pulled her dress over her head and tossed it behind him.  His pants were pushed down and off in record time and Oliver tore her underwear without mercy in his haste to get contact with her core. 

He groaned when he found her already soaking for him, her arousal already dripping onto her thighs.  Later, he promised himself, he would take his time eating her out until she became a quivering mass.  For now, he needed to be inside of her. 

Holding Felicity up with one arm secured around her waist, Oliver reached down and took ahold of his aching length with the other hand.  He only had the wherewithal to rub himself through her wet folds twice before he plunged into her welcoming heat.  Foreplay wasn’t a priority at the moment, but this connection… this feeling of coming _home…_ this was. 

Felicity made a choked noise, her walls clenching him tightly as her hands did the same on his shoulders.  Oliver groaned at the perfect feel of her, the absolutely _right_  way they fit together.  Then, he began to move.  

He wasn’t gentle, but she wasn’t either, digging her nails into his skin.  She threw her head back, knocking it against the glass as she cried out while he pumped his hips against hers, the sounds of their skin slapping together filling the loft. 

Oliver could do this with her for the rest of his life.  If he had his way, he would.  He just needed the right timing.  The ring, after all, was just waiting in that ball of ornamental rocks.  Waiting. 

But for now, he had a couple of orgasms to attend to.  

Shifting his grip, Oliver reached for Felicity’s clit, feeling the slick, stiff nub under his finger. He circled the bundle of nerves until she was keening in his ear.  

“Come, Felicity… c’mon… come for me,” he urged, his breath hot against her neck. 

“Oh, god… Oliver… oh god, oh god…  God!” Her cries grew louder and louder as her walls fluttered around his plunging length.  He could already feel his own release tightening in his abdomen but he was beyond controlling himself now.  Oliver just pressed harder against her clit as he pounded her against the glass wall. 

Felicity came apart spectacularly, as she always did, arching and crying out and clawing at him, his name echoing off the walls.  She clenched so hard around him that Oliver saw stars as he emptied into her, his own climax shuddering through him in steadily waning waves. 

They ended up on the floor, tangled together, catching their breath.  After a moment, Felicity chuckled. 

“As amazing as that was, let’s never go  _eight days_  again.”

Oliver huffed a laugh and gathered her closer in his arms.  “Agreed.”


	4. To Offer Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tumblr prompt: "sad kiss" [original post](http://callistawolf.tumblr.com/post/131061759217/3-kiss)

Felicity watched Oliver as he knelt by the headstone, placing a hand on the cold stone and staring.  She hadn’t seen him this upset since before they’d gone away together last spring. 

She wanted to go to him, to put her arms around him and tell him again how sorry she was.  She was sorry for all of them, actually.  Felicity waited next to the car, her wool coat pulled tightly around her to ward off the chill in the air. John stood at her side, watching his friend as well and knew he would tell her to give Oliver a moment.  And she knew he was right.  But that didn’t mean it was easy to see him hurting like this, to not be able to offer him some comfort right away.  

So, Felicity chewed her lower lip and watched Oliver as he had some sort of silent exchange with the gravestone.  She hoped against all hope that he wasn’t taking this loss upon his shoulders.  He’d done that so much already, with so many people they’d lost along the way.  This wasn’t his fault.  She’d known what she was doing.  

It wasn’t his fault. 

After a few long moments, Oliver finally straightened.  He walked towards them, but he didn’t look as defeated as he had moments ago.  His shoulders were squared and his back was straight.  He met their eyes head on. 

“I’m sorry, man,” Diggle offered and embraced his friend in a long hug.  Felicity felt tears prick her eyes, grateful that at least her two best friends had resolved their issues before this tragedy befell them… so that they could be here for one another.  

“Thanks, Dig.”

“We’ll all miss her.”

Oliver nodded and turned to Felicity.  His eyes were sad but she saw the resolve there as well.  They needed to talk soon, about what this meant going forward, what the _plan_  was, if there was any plan at all.  But right now, she wanted to hold him. 

Felicity wrapped her arms around him, nestling her head against the crook of his shoulder.  His arms came around her too and she felt his nose bury in her hair as it flowed around her shoulders. 

“I’ll give you two a moment,” Dig said before he stepped away.  Lyla stood with Sara by their car, trying to entertain the restless toddler. 

Oliver held her for a long time and Felicity tried, for probably the fiftieth time in the last three days, to find the right words.  She was coming up blank.  She was sad too, nothing like what he had to be feeling of course. The shock and grief of losing a member of their team, someone who had become a friend to her in the last year, made Felicity want to go right now and hunt down Darhk herself.  She wanted to make him feel the pain he’d inflicted on her and the rest of her team.  On Oliver.  

“I’m so sorry,” she mumbled into the wool of his coat. 

“Thank you.”

Felicity pulled back enough to see the shine of his eyes, the emotion he was trying to reign in.  Her heart clenched for him and she felt tears spring yet again to her own eyes. 

“I know she was special to you.  I promise, whatever you need in order to deal with Darhk, just say the word and I’m there.”

“I know you are.  I appreciate it.”

And while Oliver looked grateful, Felicity still felt her words fell short.  She’d never lost a lifelong friend like he just had.  At one time, they’d been even more than that… She just had no idea what he was feeling.  What she could do, however, was offer herself as comfort. 

Felicity pushed up on her toes and pressed her lips to his.  It was a kiss tinged with the salt of her tears but she hoped he felt her sincerity.  One of his hands came up to cup her jaw as he kissed her back.  The kiss was soft, gentle and subdued and when Oliver finally pulled back and rested his forehead against hers, she felt him sigh against her lips.  Some tension drained out of his shoulders and his hand on her waist flexed while his other thumb rubbed at her cheek. 

“Thank you, Felicity.  I couldn’t have done this today, without you here.”

“I wish I had words–”

“Shh.  It’s okay.  You had yourself, your strength.  I needed it.  Thank you.” 

Felicity hugged him to her again, glad that she could offer him something on today, of all days.  They would get through this together.  As a couple, as a team.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't not my endorsement of this particular speculation, nor is it me saying I think this is what will happen. This is simply what happened when I tried to think of what in canon might prompt a "sad kiss" from these two. Take it for what you will.


	5. Moldy Sheets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tumblr prompt: "angry touch" [original post](http://callistawolf.tumblr.com/post/131102393932/olicity-1-touch)

Felicity didn’t think she’d ever been so upset with Oliver before.  And that was saying a lot; he’d done and said some pretty boneheaded things over the last three years.  But this… this took the cake. 

_(Whatever it meant to take the cake… where did that saying even come from? It just made her want cake.)_

What kind of inconsiderate jerk just…  _threw his wet towel onto the bed, right where their girlfriend had to sleep?_  This was the fourth time this week that she’d found his towel there, hours later.  FOURTH!  And it was only Thursday!  The only reason he hadn’t done it on Sunday was probably because they’d showered together that day and towels had been discarded rather unceremoniously while still in the bathroom.  

_(But that was beside the point.  If she started to think about what he’d done with his tongue while she was perched on the edge of the bathroom counter, she was going to lose her angry momentum here.  And She. Was. Angry.)_

Last night, she’d noticed that her side of the bed sort of… smelled.  Like moldy cotton.  Which, it probably was.  As she’d lain awake at 2am, thinking about laying in  _mold_ , her anger had blossomed and sleep had escaped her grasp.  She could have gotten up and changed the sheets but she would have had to wake Oliver  _(who was sleeping like the dead, the asshole)_.  Instead, she’d changed the sheets that morning before leaving for Palmer Tech, while Oliver was up and in the shower.  

She’d grumbled as she pulled the corners tight, seethed as she’d fluffed the pillows and muttered while she pulled the blankets back up.  To say the whole thing had gotten her day off to a poor start was probably putting it mildly.  

But now…  _this_  was the last straw.  It was close to midnight and Felicity was near tears she was so exhausted.  It had been a long day at the office, followed by a long night in the Arrow Bunker.   On top of the scanty sleep she’d gotten the night before, Felicity was at the end of her rope.  And what did she see as she all but sleepwalked into their room, ready to collapse in a heap onto the bed? 

Oliver’s towel.  Damp from this morning’s shower.  Laying across her side of the bed. 

Felicity saw red. 

“I’m beat,” Oliver announced, sauntering into the room and throwing his jacket across the chair in the corner as though he’d done absolutely nothing wrong. 

Felicity just stared at him. 

Oliver was unbuttoning his shirt when he noticed her just standing there, glaring at him. 

“What?” he asked. 

“You honestly don’t know what you did?”

Oliver blinked.  “No?”

She lifted her hand and pointed at the bed.  “That!”

“The bed?  What’s wrong with it?”

“Your towel!  Your WET towel is laying on my side of the bed again.  You left it there all day!”

“Oh.  Sorry ‘bout that.”  He nonchalantly crossed the room and lifted the towel.  She watched as he tossed it into the laundry hamper.  It was clear that he considered the matter handled.  

Gritting her teeth, Felicity walked over to her side of the bed and bent over it, sniffing at the sheets.  As she’d expected, that same slightly moldy smell filled her nose and she drew back, wrinkling her nose.  

“Are you going to change the sheets too?” 

Oliver glanced at the bed and then at her and he shrugged.  He  _shrugged_.  “Why?  Didn’t you change them this morning?”

The noise that came out of her couldn’t be described as human.  Felicity rounded the bed and got right up to Oliver.  It annoyed her that she had to tip her head back to glare into his face but that didn’t stop her.  Instead, she poked at his abs angrily, partially exposed by his mostly-unbuttoned shirt.

“I changed them because they smelled MOLDY. And now they smell moldy again thanks to you and your TOWEL!” She punctuated every other word with a jab to his torso and OW,  _fucking hell_ , he was hard as steel!  Felicity withdrew her finger with a frown, shaking her sore digit.  

And Oliver… wait, was he  _smiling_?

“What the hell are you smiling at?” she demanded to know, still nursing her finger. Okay, so poking his abs had been a bad idea. 

“You.  You’re adorable,” he told her with a shrug. 

“I’m  _angry_ , is what I am.”

“I know, and it’s adorable.” 

Felicity opened her mouth to yell something, anything but Oliver held up a hand.  “Before you say anything… I’ll change the sheets again.”

She deflated, some of her righteous ire fleeing.  “You will?”

He nodded and stepped closer to her, cautiously, watching to see if she’d get angry and jab him again.  WHen she didn’t, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead.  “Yes, and now that I know this is a problem, I’ll try to remember to not throw my towel on your side of the bed.”

“Hanging it up in the bathroom would be best,” she muttered, trying to hold onto her indignation but it was already passing as he stroked his hands up and down her arms soothingly. 

“I’ll try.  I promise.”

Felicity huffed, but there was no heat behind it.  “Okay, good.”

He dipped his knees a little so he could look into her eyes.  “Am I forgiven?”

He was giving her such a puppy expression that she couldn’t fight the smile that tugged at the corners of her lips.  “I guess so.  Depends on how you plan to make it up to me.”  Felicity tried to give her him her most sultry look and thought she must have hit the mark when Oliver’s eyes darkened with awareness.  

Then, she glanced at the bed before looking back at him. “After you change the sheets, of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to [@machawicket](http://machawicket.tumblr.com) for her help with what this “angry touch” should be… she’s a genius, guys.


	6. Saturday Slow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tumblr prompt: "sleepy shag" [original post](http://callistawolf.tumblr.com/post/131114771442/oh-how-fun-5shag)

Oliver woke up with the scent of lavender and vanilla invading his senses.  He breathed in deep, nuzzling his nose further into the golden silky tresses that were responsible for the sweet, familiar scent.  The sun was just starting to rise over the city, the warmth of its rays not enough yet to warm the room beyond the cozy comforter cocoon the two of them were tangled in.  Oliver burrowed his body closer to Felicity, her back pressed to his front. 

She curved perfectly into him, fitting like she was made to fit there and maybe she was.  God knew that he believed she was his destiny.  His knees tucked in behind hers, her soft thighs resting against his hairy ones.  She had her feet pressed against the top of his and as he woke, he flexed his toes to bring hers into contact with the top of his foot more fully. 

Felicity sighed a little, turning her face into the pillow slightly as she always did when she was trying to cling to the vestiges of sleep.  He loved that he knew that about her now, how she woke in the mornings on the weekends versus during the week when responsibilities loomed.  It was a Saturday morning and Felicity guarded her sleep on Saturday and Sundays with a jealous zeal that never failed to make him smile. 

Some weekend mornings, Oliver was perfectly happy to cuddle under the blankets with her as long as she wanted.  But this morning… he had something else in mind.  Maybe it was the scent of her shampoo or the softness of her body against his or the fact that they’d both been too exhausted the night before to do anything besides fall into bed… 

Oliver had an arm tucked around her waist.  He pulled her more fully against him at the same time as he pushed his hips into her.  Felicity made a soft noise, but no other indication that she was waking.  So he released her in order to skate a hand up her side  She was wearing one of his tshirts, and nothing else; her usual bedtime attire.  

He fucking  _loved_  it when she wore his clothes.  

Oliver lifted his head and leaned down to press a kiss to her shoulder, the only part of her that he could reach.  He wished it was bare skin… Bringing his hand down to the hem of the shirt, he began to move it up underneath the soft material, softly stroking the warm skin he found there. 

Felicity shifted against him when his fingertips brushed against the underside of her breasts.  Feeling bolder now, Oliver moved his fingers up until he was able to pluck at her nipple.  He touched gently enough that he wouldn’t startle her, but firm enough that she could feel the effects of what he was doing.  

She made another sound, a low moan, and then… her hips shifted back against his, her soft curves pressing against his cock which was already aching for attention.  Even then, he wasn’t sure she was waking up until she moved a little before pulling the tshirt up and off.  Oliver backed away for a moment to allow her some room and then he was back pressed against her, this time fully skin to skin.  

It felt amazing, she was so warm and soft and considering the way she was reaching behind her to feel for where his cock was tenting his boxers, she was fully awake now and interested in the same thing he was. 

Oliver continued to roll her nipple between his fingers as he pressed kisses along her shoulder, moving towards her neck.  Felicity circled her hips against him, making him grow impossibly harder.  

He finally abandoned her nippled to move his hand down over her abdomen.  She wasn’t wearing underwear; she often didn’t these days when they slept together.  Perhaps it was all those pairs he’d ruthlessly torn in his desperation to push into her.  Whatever the reason, Oliver was grateful as he slipped his fingers down through her nether lips, feeling how wet she was already, how soaked her entrance was and all he’d done was toy with her breasts.  

Fuck, he loved how responsive she was.  

There was no need to draw this out, to drive them both to the limit with extended foreplay.  There’d be time for that later, maybe even tonight after he made them both a nice dinner that they could eat by the fire.  But right now, sleep was still clinging to the corners of his consciousness, he was horny, she was horny and there was no good reason not to just…. sink in. 

So Oliver reached down and lifted Felicity’s leg, pulling it back over his.  She got the message, curling her calf around the back of his knee while he reached down and pushed the waistband of his boxers down low enough to free his erection.  He pumped his rigid length a couple times but he was already hard enough to drill nails.  

Angling his hips, he guided the tip to her soaked entrance and began to push in.  Her body pulled him, beckoning him in further but he wanted to take this slowly, to let her feel every inch of how much he wanted her.  Felicity groaned, turning her face into her pillow again and he braced a hand on her hip so that he could control the penetration.  

As soon as he was seated fully, Oliver took a moment to steady himself before he drew his back, pulling out just enough… then slowly pushing back in.  He kept the pace steady and sensual, so they each could feel the delicious slide of their bodies coming together.  Everytime he pushed back into her it felt like he was where he belonged.  

Felicity reached up behind herself, her fingers digging into his scalp as she held his head to her shoulder where he continued to lick, nibble and kiss while he continued his slow thrusting.  She whined, trying to shift her hips against his, encourage him to speed up.  But Oliver was enjoying this delicious moment, the slow sensuality of it all.  How often did he take a moment to just really  _feel_  her, her softness as her body held him tight in it’s grasp.  

“Oliver,” she whined, her voice scratchy with the remnants of sleep. 

“Shhh,” he whispered.  “Just let me…”

He pumped his hips, groaning himself at the unbearably perfect fit of it all.  

“Please…” 

“Felicity…”

Right then, she did something with her inner muscles, clenching around his length when he pushed inside of her.  Oliver groaned, biting down on her shoulder, his arousal ratcheting up another degree. 

“Fuck me,” she begged him. 

“God… Felicity…”

She did it again and then, despite his steadying grip on her hip, rotated her hips so that the swells of her ass pressed against his abdomen.  Oliver drew away from her shoulder and looked back at the sight of those luscious swells as they pushed against him and his blood turned to lava.  

“Faster…”

“Shit,” he growled, his control fraying rapidly.  

She wriggled against him again and finally, Oliver could take no more.  He released her hip and banded his arm around her waist again, jerking her back against him as he thrust harder and faster into.  Felicities cries were muffled by her pillow, but he could swear he heard her shout out, “Thank God!” 

It was hard to tell over the pounding blood in his ears and the sound of his own satisfaction as he pounded into her, their flesh slapping together.  He was snapping his hips in a punishing rhythm when he felt Felicity reach down with her fingers to circle her clit.  

Fuck, that just made the whole thing  _hotter._

It didn’t take long after that for both of them to fall apart.  Felicity came first, crying out as her body trembled against his, her orgasm milking his dick so that he finally let go and emptied into her, filling her with his seed, groaning her name into her hair as they both shuddered through their mutual release.  

Felicity relaxed against him and, still buried in her wet warmth, Oliver surrounded her, drawing her into his warmth.  Their heart rates slowed as they caught their breaths, he could feel hers against his hand as he cupped her breast possessively.  

“Back to sleep?” she murmured. 

“Sounds good to me,” he replied, pressing a kiss to her ear. 

She hummed with satisfaction and he echoed her as they drifted off into sleep again.  


	7. Make Me a Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tumblr prompt: 'Can you write Olicity + "but I promised I would. Do you want to make a liar out of me?"' [original post](http://callistawolf.tumblr.com/post/131305151587/can-you-write-olicity-but-i-promised-i-would)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one got my attention and I had an idea right way…

It was the hardest thing she thought she’d ever had to do, next to mourning Oliver’s loss the year before, but Felicity knew it was the right choice.  For Oliver, the man she loved… it was the right thing.  

Felicity slid the platinum engagement from from her finger and held it, admiring for the last time the way the light glinted off the diamond.  It had felt so right on her hand, and she’d never forget the look in Oliver’s eyes when he’d proposed.  But that was before… 

“Felicity!” Oliver sounded stricken as he focused on the ring in her hand.  “What are you doing?”

“You can’t marry me, Oliver.  You– You are the mayor now, you’re a hero and an inspiration.  You can’t marry the daughter of the man who is destroying this city.”

His enormous hand engulfed his, hiding the ring from sight.  “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Now that we know that Damien is my father… it changes things, Oliver.”

“It changes  _nothing_.”

“It changes  _everything_!  Damien won’t hesitate to use me against you.  We can’t take that risk, I won’t be responsible for ruining the good you’re trying to do here, Oliver!” Tears threatened her vision and Felicity blinked them back.  

“Felicity,  _you_  are the good in my life.  Everything else, is because of you.  I am who I am today because of  _you.”_

“If you marry me, Damien would use me and destroy you and this city.”

“He would certainly try.”

“But…”

“Felicity, I promised you. I told you I would marry you. Are you saying you want to make me a liar?” he asked her, quirking an eyebrow. 

Through her tears, Felicity managed a wobbly smile. “Oliver, I can’t ask you to do this…”

“You’re not.  I’m the one who asked you, remember?”

He pried open her fingers then, plucking the ring from her.  He held it up as he settled down onto one knee.  

“Oliver…”

“Felicity Smoak, I’ve asked you before and I’ll ask a hundred more times if that’s that it takes.  I want to make you my wife. I want to be your husband.  Nothing else matters.  Please, marry me?”

“Oliver…” her voice had lost all it’s strength.  She wanted so badly to just fall in his arms and believe it would be okay.

“Please, Felicity.  We can do this… together.”

 _Together_.  They’d always been at their best when they were together.  How had she lost sight of that?  All those times in the past, when things looked their most grim, it was sticking together that saw them through.  Felicity blew out a breath and with it, fled so much of the tension she’d been holding inside.  

“Yes, Oliver.  Let’s do this.  Together.”

Grinning, he slipped the ring back onto her finger where it belonged.  Then he stood and swooped her into his arms, kissing all the last remaining doubts right out of her head. 


	8. Since You've Been Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tumblr prompt: "Sara's reaction to olicity once she isn't cray anymore." [original post](http://callistawolf.tumblr.com/post/131306863682/saras-reaction-to-olicity-once-she-isnt-cray)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really looking forward to this… This is probably super simplified but take from it what you will!

For the first time since that dreaded trip to Nanda Parbat, the team had a quiet moment.  Constantine had worked his magic and Sara was, more or less, returned to her old self.  It still made Felicity’s mind reel, that her friend had been dead one moment and was now standing before them, looking just like her old self again.  In her line of work, seeing new and strange things shouldn’t be surprising to her anymore but yet… here she was. 

“So what have you guys been up to since I’ve been dead?” she asked, a wry smile twisting her lips. 

Everyone laughed a little uncomfortably.  Felicity knew they were all thinking of the events of the last year, how Sara’s death had thrown all of their lives into turmoil.  None more than Oliver himself. 

“I’m on the team now,” Thea spoke up.  “Not too bad with a bow.”  Then, the younger Queen winced, probably remembering the manner in which Sara had been murdered.  But Sara just smiled. 

“You’re improving,” Oliver allowed, diffusing any tension over the gaffe, earning a scowl from his sister.  Sara wasn’t the only one back to her old self; Thea was improving as well, the flashes of rage now all but a thing of the past. 

“I’ve gotten married and have a baby,” Dig said and Sara’s eyes widened.  

“You did?  A baby? How did I miss that?”

“You were in Nanda Parbat and then, well.  She was born that night, actually.”

Her blue eyes softened.  “She?  A girl…”

“We named her Sara.”

Now, Sara’s eyes filled up with tears.  “Oh, John…”

She gave him a hug and Felicity felt a knot in her heart that had been there since Sara’s death finally loosen.  

“And what about you?” Sara asked, turning to Felicity when she’d released Diggle. 

“I’m the CEO of Palmer Technologies… formerly Queen Consolidated.”  Felicity was proud of her role and how every day she felt she got better at what she did.  The company was pulling back from the brink and she was satisfied with the progress. 

“Holy cow!  Way to go, Felicity!  What about your personal life?  Seeing anyone special?”  Sara’s eyes glittered and Felicity blushed a little.  Back when she’d been with the team, the two of them had several ‘girl talk’ sessions where Felicity had lamented about her lack of time for a social life.  

“As a matter of fact, she’s seeing me,” Oliver interrupted.  Sara’s gaze swung to his.  “We’re living together, in fact.”

A grin bloomed across Sara’s face.  “Well, I’ll be damned.  You took my advice.”

“Advice?” Felicity asked, her voice thin.  She’d been nervous about what Sara’s reaction to this news would be but she seemed to be… pleased?

“I told Ollie last year, before I died, that we need people in our lives who don’t wear masks,” Sara told her.  “I knew how he felt about you, it’d never been a secret.  I was hoping he’d get his act together.”

Felicity was dumbstruck.  Back before Sara had died, things had been, well… they’d been looking good until they suddenly looked  _very bad_ … and to think that Sara told him that way back  _then._  It blew her mind. 

“If only he’d listened to you right away,” Felicity murmured.  “Could have saved us a lot of grief.”

“Hey,” Oliver said defensively. 

Diggle and Thea chuckled.  

“Oh sure, we can laugh  _now_ ,” Felicity quipped, but she grinned at Oliver. 

Sara engulfed her in a big hug, her arms tight.  Felicity hugged her back, suddenly overwhelmed with how much she’d missed her friend.  

“I’m so happy for you two,” she whispered in Felicity’s ear. 

“Are you sure?” Felicity whispered back. “Because I know you guys–”

Sara drew back but kept her hands on Felicity’s shoulders.  “Ollie and I were always good friends and I will always love him but we’re not  _it_  for each other.  Not like you guys.  I saw it back then, I’d have to have been blind not to.”

“Oh Sara…”  Felicity hugged her again.  She was just so glad to have her friend back.  The whole process had been harrowing, the scheme was completely problematic, but Felicity would never regret having her back with them, now that everything was okay again.  

“I’m so happy for you,” Sara told her and Felicity laughed, catching Oliver’s smiling eyes over Sara’s shoulder.  She was happy for them, too. 


	9. Serious Debate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tumblr prompt: "Oliver and Felicity get into a super serious discussion...about what Hogwarts house the different members of Team Arrow would be sorted into." [original post](http://callistawolf.tumblr.com/post/131309943037/oliver-and-felicity-get-into-a-super-serious)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was kinda fun. I went dialogue only with it.

“I don’t think this is fair argument, Oliver.”

“Why not?  I know the characters.”

“Yeah but you’ve only seen the movies.  You didn’t read the books.”

“How different can they be?  Oh, come on!  Don’t make that face!”

“I’m sorry but… just…  _no_ , Oliver.”

“Come on, it’ll pass the time while we’re waiting for that search to complete.”

“Okay… I’ll start off with an easy one then.  Since you’re handicapped already.  Diggle.”

“Hufflepuff.” 

“What??  No, he’s Gryffindor!”

“No, I think he’s Hufflepuff. Remember Neville?  Hard-work, dedication, patience, loyalty…”

“Alright, alright.  He’s Hufflepuff.”

“How about Thea?”

“Now she’s a Gryffindor.”

“Nope, I’m going to have to argue with that, Oliver.”

“ _What?_   Why, where do you think she goes?”

“Slytherin, of course.”

“Felicity!”

“It’s not a bad thing, Oliver!  Remember Horace Slughorn?  He was a great guy!”

“That’s my sister!  The Slytherin’s are the bad guys!”

“Not necessarily!  They value ambition, cunning and resourcefulness.  Tell me that’s not Thea.”

“…”

“Oh, come on.  Don’t make that face.  You know I’m right.”

“Okay, you might have a point.  Don’t grin like that, I said you  _might_!”

“Alright… fine.  Who’s next?”

“Hmm, how about Laurel?”

“That’s a hard one. Ravenclaw?”

“I think she’s Gryffindor.  Her bravery outmatches her wits, sometimes.”

“Oliver!”

“What?  It’s true!”

“What about Roy?  Hufflepuff with Diggle?”

“No, Roy is Gryffindor, through and through.  I think Quentin would be Hufflepuff, though.”

“But Felicity, he’s not Team Arrow.”

“He’s sort of an honorary fringe member.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that.  What do you think about Sara?”

“Tough.  Gryffindor?”

“Maybe?  Or maybe she’s Hufflepuff too?”

“Or Slytherin…”

“Felicity…”

“It’s  _not_  a bad thing!  But in this case, I’m going to go with Hufflepuff.”

“Really?  Okay.  Who does that leave us?”

“You and me.”

“Well, that should be easy.  You’re Ravenclaw, Felicity.”

“I could be Gryffindor!”

“Of course you could.  You’re as brave as anyone I know.  But your intellect is what really sets you apart and you cherish that about yourself. I know you, Felicity.”

“Alright.  I always did used to think of myself as Ravenclaw, back before you came along.”

“See?  That means I’m right.  And I, of course, am a Gryffindor.”

“Nope.  Oliver, you’re Slytherin.”

“Okay, now you’re just trying to make me mad.”

“Oliver, Gryffindors are idealists.  With a black and white view of justice.  That’s not who you are.  And you are resourceful to your core.”

“So maybe it doesn’t make me Voldemort?” 

“It definitely doesn’t make you Voldemort.  It makes you the man I love.”

“…”

“You’re awfully cute when you blush.”

“So who is Voldemort then?”

“Oh that’s definitely Damien.  And possibly Malcolm Merlyn.”


	10. Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tumblr prompt: "Olicity + "I'm prepared to fight you about this." "I'm shocked."" [original post](http://callistawolf.tumblr.com/post/131324872182/olicity-im-prepared-to-fight-you-about-this)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .... i don't even know, guys....

It was a rare Friday night off from hero work.  Felicity and Oliver were curled up on their couch in the loft, watching a movie.  The fire was roaring in the grate, bathing them both in warm flickering light.  Felicity had a cozy blanket out and was curled against Oliver’s side, the blanket laying over both of them.  Oliver had a bowl of popcorn on his lap.  

It was an idyllic evening, the likes of which they hadn’t had a chance to enjoy since leaving Ivy Town.  But right now, something was threatening to shatter the calm and the romance.  Something that was, in Felicity’s mind, a big damn deal. 

“How can you say that?” she asked him, flabbergasted that this man, the man she loved with all her heart, the man she was prepared to spend the _rest of her life with_ , could be so obtuse. 

“It’s easy.  Just watch, I’ll rewind it again,” Oliver said with a nonchalance that set Felicity’s teeth on edge. 

He lifted the remote with the arm that wasn’t wrapped around and backed up about thirty seconds.  They watched again and, yes, Felicity knew what it  _looked_  like, but… 

“That doesn’t count!” she cried. 

“What do you mean  _that doesn’t count_.  That’s what happens!”

“Oliver!  Oooh!  I’m so prepared to fight you on this.”

“I’m shocked,” he said, sounding anything but. 

“Hand me my tablet, please.”

Oliver sighed and set the remote down after hitting pause on the movie, lifting her table from the table next to him and passing it to her.  Felicity shifted against him, bringing an arm around from under the cozy cocoon of the blanket to do a quick video search on YouTube. 

She found what she was looking for very quickly and thrust the tablet at Oliver with a triumphant “ah ha!”

He took it from her, asking, “What am I looking at?”

“Just play the video.” 

“Felicity, this is the same scene.”

“No, it’s not!  It’s the  _right_  scene.  Just watch it.”

She rested her head on his shoulder, watching as he watched, feeling a surge of satisfaction as the scene played out.  When it was done, Oliver set it down and turned his head to look at her, an eyebrow quirked in amusement. 

“Seriously?”

“Oliver, that’s what happened.  That’s the original context of the scene.  That is how it played for  _twenty years_.”

“But that’s not how it is  _now_ ,” he insisted, indicating the paused movie on their tv. 

Felicity waved a hand.  “That doesn’t count.  Everyone has rejected that reality.  Except  _you_.” She poked a finger in his chest for effect. 

Oliver laughed.  “Does it really mean that much to you?”

“As a geek?  Yes, it really means that much to me.”

Smiling, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple.  “Okay, then fine.  You win.  Han shot first.”

“THANK YOU!”

“Now can we watch the rest of the movie?” he asked, still amused. 

“Proceed, captain.”  Felicity snuggled back against his side, rearranging the blanket over them, once again at peace with the love of her life.


	11. The Unimaginable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post 4x09 spec fic: Felicity wakes up in the hospital to find that Oliver has some devastating news for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the angst! But I found I had to write this out... I will warn you now, there is discussion of pregnancy loss here. If that's a trigger for you, please skip this one.

When Felicity woke up, it felt like she was waking from a very long, very deep sleep. There was a hint of a dream at the edge of her consciousness. Her mouth was bone dry. She tried to lick her lips, only to find her tongue nearly as dry as her chapped lips. Swallowing, she found her throat was aching and sore. Her eyes felt like they were glued shut and she had to blink several times to get them open, only to find herself blinded by bright overhead lights. 

_Wait. Since when does the loft bedroom have overhead lights?_

“Felicity?I think she’s waking up…”There was no mistaking her mother’s voice.Felicity struggled to open her eyes, blinking at the bright light. “Baby, it’s okay. I’m here.”

“…Bright,” Felicity muttered, surprised when her voice was little more than a scratchy whisper. 

“Let me get that.”She recognized Oliver in an instant and wanted to reach out to grab him but her arms felt like they were attached to weights. A moment later, the brightness dimmed and Felicity was able to crack her eyes open.There was another light somewhere, a lamp maybe, someplace behind her head. 

“Do you want to sit up, baby?Here, let me get that,” her mother said and a mechanical whirring sounded in the room and Felicity felt herself being lifted up. Pain burst through her at the movement, radiating out from her abdomen and she had to suck a breath in to keep from making a noise. 

That’s when she realized she was in a hospital bed. In a hospital room. _In a hospital_. 

Felicity tried to lick her cracked lips again, her mind racing, trying to remember why she was here, what happened. Oliver appeared at her side, sitting on the side of her bed and taking her hand in his.She clung to the warm comfort of his hand, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of her hand. 

“Do you remember what happened, Felicity?” he asked her. 

Felicity tried to search through her memories, but it was like trying to pick up sand with her bare hands.Tears pricked at her eyes as frustration welled.Oliver seemed to notice and squeezed her hand. 

“It’s okay. Do you want me to tell you?”

She nodded, not trusting her voice. 

“I’ll let you two talk,” her mother said. “Are you in pain? Should I tell the nurse to bring you something?”

She felt all sorts of radiating pain, mostly from somewhere in her midsection, but Felicity knew whatever the nurse brought her would make her woozy and tired.She wasn’t ready to fall back asleep just yet. 

She shook her head. “Not yet,” she replied. 

Her mom leaned over, brushing her lips over her forehead and for a moment Felicity was enveloped in a cloud of her mother’s familiar perfume. Then she was gone, leaving her and Oliver alone in the unfamiliar hospital room.Felicity shifted but froze when the movement caused another burst of pain. 

“Hey… hey… take it easy,” Oliver said, running his hand up her arm.“Are you okay?”

“W—what happened, Oliver?”

He sighed and she saw a shadow pass behind his eyes. “Damien Darhk happened.We were in the limo, riding home from the tree lighting ceremony.Do you remember that?”

There was a mixture of hope and nervousness in his expression that was so unlike him that it made something in Felicity’s chest twist into a knot.She reached up to touch his face.“I do remember the tree-lighting.You asked… you asked me to marry you.”She didn’t mean for it to end in a question, but it did. She didn’t know what had happened in that limo, how much time had passed, if anything had _changed_ for Oliver… 

A crinkled appeared between his eyebrows and he scooted closer.“Yes.Yes, I proposed.And you said yes,” he confirmed.“It’s still yes, isn’t it?”

The knot in her chest loosened.She smiled. “Yes, of course it’s still yes.”

Oliver smiled too, though briefly. “Good. I’m glad you remember that.”

“I won’t ever forget it,” she assured him. 

He took her hand in his again, shifting again and he looked down to where their hands were joined.He was hesitating, she realized.“Darhk’s men ambushed us, blocked off the limo, began to shoot at us using machine guns.”

Felicity’s heart sunk to somewhere in the vicinity of her stomach. 

“I tried to cover you, to protect you. But the driver was shot and I knew if we stayed there any longer, we’d be slaughtered.So I climbed into the front seat and drove us out. But when I got clear, I went to check on you and you…”

He fumbled, his breath catching and Felicity tightened her grasp on his hand. He was still looking down so with her other hand she cupped his cheek.She felt wetness there.She kept silent, waiting for him to continue. Oliver took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. 

“You were shot. It was bad. You nearly didn’t make it and I— I didn’t know what to do. Your mom got here and I went… to find Darhk, I guess. To find whoever was responsible. I couldn’t sit here while you were back in surgery, waiting to hear the worst. I just couldn’t…”

“Shh. Oliver, it’s okay. I understand.” She remembered how he’d been after Thea was nearly killed last spring and the notion that he had to go through something similar again was enough to make her throat burn with tears. 

“Anyhow, Thea told me when you were out of surgery. But she didn’t know how you were so I came over here as soon as I could. I found your mom and she told me—“

Felicity blinked and waited for Oliver to take another breath.She was missing something. Clearly, she was okay, she’d made it through surgery because she sat here now, holding his hand which was shaking in hers. She was in pain, yes, but considering the manner in which he’d told her she was shot, it was no wonder. What was going on here?It made her heart thud painfully in her chest, the vast number of possibilities running through her mind in rapid succession.

“Oliver?” she prompted him when he didn’t continue.He was breathing hard and she thought maybe he was crying.It was official; she was getting scared. 

A long moment passed and he still said nothing.She tried again. “Oliver, please, look at me.What aren’t you telling me?”

“Felicity…” 

He sounded _wrecked_. He lifted his head and met her eyes.His were red-rimmed and wet.Felicity bit her lip and reached up with her free hand to wipe at his tears.He grabbed her other hand in his and kissed it, before holding it as tight as her other hand. 

“There was… you were… When you were brought in, while they were prepping you for surgery… they found out that you were…pregnant.”

At first, Felicity wasn’t sure she’d heard him right. Then she wasn’t entirely sure she understood the word. There was a rushing in her ears and Oliver kept holding her hand, holding her eyes with his, willing her to understand what he was saying. 

“Pregnant?” she whispered. “But… how?” She hadn’t known, she hadn’t even suspected! She was on birth control and had been for over a year. 

“Felicity…”He sounded pained.“You didn’t know?”

“Of course not,” she replied. “I would have told you the minute I knew! Are you sure?”

“Yes, the doctors were sure. They told your mom you were five weeks along, so it’d just happened.”

Five weeks. Okay. That made more sense. Pregnant… a _baby_. But then… she looked at Oliver’s face, at the mournful look in his eyes and the bottom dropped out of her stomach. 

“I’m not pregnant anymore, am I?” she asked, her voice sounding small in her own ears. 

“Felicity… honey… I’m so sorry.”Oliver’s voice was hoarse.The rushing in her ears increased and a moment later, Oliver’s arms were around her, pulling her towards him.She reached up with wooden arms and wrapped them around his shoulders. 

She’d been pregnant. She’d lost the baby. How could she be this upset about something she hadn’t even known about five minutes ago?

“There was so much damage, from the bullets,” Oliver was mumbling into her neck. “You lost so much blood.They took you into surgery right away and I was so scared I was going to lose you.Apparently, it was just… too much.”

Felicity didn’t know what to do.She and Oliver hadn’t ever even talked about having kids. She’d always assumed that would come someday, down the line, long after they were married.She hadn’t even had a chance to adjust to the fact they were engaged yet, hadn’t even begun to really seriously contemplate their future together. But she knew he wanted children. And she did too. 

She’d been pregnant.A baby, a product of both her and Oliver, had been growing inside of her.If that limo hadn’t been ambushed, she would be pregnant _now_.Her abdomen would swell with life as the months went on… would they have gotten married right away? Or wait until after the baby arrived, like John and Lyla?Would their baby have been a boy, with his father’s strong jaw?Or a little girl, with her naturally wavy hair? Would they have named him Tommy?Or maybe Moira? After his mother? 

A sob worked its way out of her throat and Oliver’s arms banded around her even tighter.Her wounds protested, pain firing through her, but Felicity welcomed it.She held onto that pain, let it ground her as she felt like flying apart. She knew Oliver was devastated and that was adding another layer to her own emotional trauma; she’d always hated seeing him so sad and sharing in that now made it all the more sharp and poignant. But for now, she had Oliver’s arms. 

In Oliver’s arms, she cried for the child they would never know.In Oliver’s arms, Felicity lost a bit of her soul and fell apart. 


	12. maybe if I tell myself enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of 4x15, Felicity lays in bed awake, and wonders for the millionth time if she did the right thing. Originally posted [on tumblr](https://callistawolf.tumblr.com/post/140581232367/ficlet-maybe-if-i-tell-myself-enough).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a little Sunday morning angst for y'all.

Felicity lay in the unfamiliar bed, staring at an unfamiliar ceiling, listening to the unfamiliar sounds outside the unfamiliar window. She hated it. She hated every bit of this, hated this hotel room, these crisp white sheets… Her heart ached so badly that tears were ever-present and her throat constantly felt sore.

She’d second guessed her decision to leave the loft about a hundred times since she’d physically stood and walked out the door. The look on Oliver’s face when she’d taken off the ring and told him she couldn’t do this haunted her every moment.

_“I’m trying.”_

Felicity believed he was. She _knew_ he was, with every fiber of her being. She knew how hard this was for him. She knew he’d just gotten finished recording a heart-rending message for a son he would not allow himself to see until he turned eighteen years old. His heart was already hurting when she’d lowered the boom and the guilt that ate at her because of that was now keeping her awake in this terrible, unfamiliar bed.

Had she been too harsh? Should she have tried harder to get him to talk to her, to tell her what he was thinking? She loved him. She loved him so much that she couldn’t fathom ever not loving him. Even now, after everything that’d happened in the last few days, she loved him.

But if Felicity had stayed, she would have given in. If she’d had to look into his tear filled eyes a moment longer, she would have let go of her anger. That wasn’t what Oliver needed right now. That wasn’t what _she_ needed.

It hurt, like nothing had ever hurt before, that he’d kept the secret of his son from her. If others like Barry and Thea and _Malcolm Freaking Merlyn_ hadn’t known, maybe the sting would have been less. But they’d known and still Oliver hadn’t told her. He insisted he’d kept the truth from her for William’s safety but that didn’t even make sense.  Not when Malcolm knew. Didn’t Oliver know she could have helped him keep William hidden and safe? Didn’t he trust in her skills to do that? Didn’t he trust in her to keep it a secret with him?

 _That_ was the hurt. He hadn’t trusted her. He hadn’t treated her as a true partner in his life. He said he wanted to marry her, to share his life with her, but he kept important pieces of that life hidden from her. He kept part of _himself_ hidden from her.  Felicity had shared everything with this man. How many nights during their travels had he held her while she told him of the pain she’d felt when her father left her and her mother all those years ago? What about all the times she’d unloaded her stress and concern about being able to helm Palmer Tech? Then there were those late nights after Darhk’s assault where she’d cried into his shoulder about how scared she was to face life with limited mobility. She’d leaned on him, depended on him, shared the darkest parts of herself with him.

And he hadn’t been able to do the same.

Felicity had never pressed Oliver to tell her about his time away from home. He’d shared a few things with her, like being in Hong Kong and stories of Slade and Shado but… those were always things he’d offered on his own. She knew there were things he was holding back and she was _fine_ with that. She’d believed he would tell her when he was ready.

But Felicity expected now, while they were already sharing their lives, that he would confide in her. A few times, he had. Over the summer, he’d talked to her about his fractured friendship with Diggle and how that hurt him. He’d also shared his concern for Thea over her bloodlust and his relief at regaining his friendship with Laurel. She’d believed he was growing, that he was opening up to her. So when he’d proposed in December, she’d said yes, readily and happily. Because she believed he was ready to share his life with her.

The shooting had masked some things that Felicity should have noticed… how Oliver didn’t open up as much as he had before. How he would take all those mysterious trips to Central City. How there were times he couldn’t meet her eyes when they were talking intimately. At the time, she’d attributed it to stress. Darhk was weighing on Oliver and Felicity understood that. Thea had been in danger and Oliver focusing on that was to be expected. Looking back now, however, Felicity realized he’d been keeping this secret from her since their trip to Central City. He’d _proposed_ to her while lying.

In Felicity’s mind, that made the entire proposal a lie.

She knew Oliver loved her. The man wore his heart on his sleeve. His feelings weren’t a question for her anymore. But his ability to fully embrace marriage and what it meant, what it meant to _her_ , was in question. With their wedding fast approaching, Felicity couldn’t in good conscience go through with it knowing that Oliver wasn’t _all in_.  They were supposed to do this together, and instead, Felicity was left feeling she was the only one fully committed to their partnership.

His decision to remove himself from his son’s life before that son even knew he was his father was the last straw for her. It wasn’t that Felicity expected to have input on his decision; she knew this wasn’t her choice. But he didn’t even talk to her about it. He didn’t tell her what he was thinking, what had made him decide that this was the best course of action… He hadn’t spoken a word to her about it and the first she heard of it was overhearing that recording he made on the laptop. That _hurt_.

And it was because she knew that it hurt him that it hurt her. His decision weighed heavily on his heart and he hadn’t even come to her for an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on, arms to hug. While she didn’t question that he loved her, that made her question if he _needed_ her.

She’d lost herself in him.  And she thought it was okay because they’d lost themselves in each other, that they’d _found themselves_ in each other. But now she realized that it was only her that’d given herself.  And it left her feeling raw and bruised.

Knowing that Oliver was somewhere else in the city, hurting just as much as she was, gave her no peace.  She wanted to put her arms around him, to hug him and lend him her strength and support. But he’d decided he didn’t need that from her. He was trying, she knew he was, but trying did neither of them any good if he didn’t follow through and _do_. So as weak as she felt, as much as she wanted to pick up her phone and call him, she had to stay strong. If they ever had any hope at all at repairing this relationship, she had to stay strong.

So Felicity continued to lay in that unfamiliar bed, staring at that unfamiliar ceiling. And she _hurt_.


End file.
